Of Books and Writer's Block

So I bought the new John Green book a couple days ago.

Actually, that's a lie.
It's been two weeks, probably.

And I still don't have it yet because unnamed mail company decided to ship it to every city on the face of the planet first. 

I'm not kidding. 

OK, maybe a little.

but no really. I've been tracking it and it's gone from the state on the left of mine, to the state on the right, to a city at the top of my state... and I'm like, "FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS GOOD, WHY?" 

Let me share something with you that was said to me this week. 

Someone legitimately told me that they don't trust books because the people who write them misconstrue things. 

Um. 

While it is true that people tend to be big fat liar pants, I would be far more comfortable trusting information that came from a book than word of mouth. 

I mean, think about it. 

Thiiiiink about it. 

You know I'm right. 

Have you ever played telephone? You know, where you tell someone something and they pass it on, etc. until it comes back to you and it's not even remotely close to what it started out as? 

That's basically what happens every time someone "learns" something by word of mouth. People like to make stories more elaborate. 

You can't do that with a book. The words are permanent on the page.

So, writer's block. If I were counting, this would probably be my 3940832094832th post on this topic, yes? 

Close enough.

There's this new slowly spreading phenomena called Word Wars. 

I'm not really sure where it originated, but Friend thinks it was the NaNoWriMo people's idea. 

So anyways, we started doing these a couple years ago and next thing you know, we have tons of other writers in on it too. Pretty much every writer I know uses this method for overcoming writer's block.

Basically, 

1. Get anywhere from 1 to 5000 friends together

2. determine a time limit. EX: 10 minutes

3. set a start time and then write as much as you can for 10 minutes straight

4. stop

5. person with the most word wins

6. It's optional, but it's a good idea to share what you wrote so that you get immediate feedback

7. repeat process

These things are magical. I'm telling you. 

They're also addicting. I don't usually write anymore without hunting someone down to Word War with me first. 

TRY IT. Tell me how it goes. 

I already know you're going to love them, but tell me anyways.
Okay, until next time.

How Mealtime Goes Down at Our House

So when shopping for food, my grandma likes to buy in bulk.

Yes, I'm an adult and still live with my grandparents.
I'm a tragically poor college student. So sue me.

Back to my point. My grandma buys in bulk.
But she only buys the bulk stuff that's on uber-sale. So really there's no rhyme or reason to the food we have stored in our basement.

I mean seriously. What on earth can you make with 500 cans of green beans, 50 4-packs of butter, and 20 jars of salsa?
Dinner time at our house is like an extreme episode of Chopped.

But let's look on the bright side though.

I mean maybe if the zombie apocalypse happens then we'll at least be able to survive for years down there.
Beggars can't be choosers.
And neither can people hunkered down in a zombie-proof cellar.


Another thing my grandma believes is that if food is in a can, it cannot expire.
Now, this is probably true for most canned foods to a certain extent.
Like, if it's two or three months past the expiration date, you're probably not gonna contract a life-threatening disease.
Mainly, that's the get-off-the-store-shelf-by-this-date date.
But things don't last forever.

Unless they do.

Case in point.
I was cleaning out the cabinets and I found a jar of pineapple ice cream topping from 1974.
Yes, it was still sealed.
Yes, it still looked identical to the ones in your grocery store today.
Except for, you know, the 40 years of product labeling difference.

I knew there was a reason I avoided pineapple ice cream topping.


In other news, the local radio did not take my advice on learning where to place commas.
Unfortunately, they are still trying to give people away.
Much to my dismay, that person was still me.



If you missed the last episode of Grammar Lessons with the Local Radio Station, here's a recap:
Place a comma before someone's name. Because that's grammatically correct. Otherwise you're saying they can win me. And we all know it's socially unacceptable to offer people as a radio prize.
It actually might be illegal. I'll have to look into that.


So that's all I suppose. I'm off to make a grocery list and pray for sales on items that go great with green beans, butter, and salsa.

Author Etiquette

I don't know about you, but I've seen some pretty crazy stuff going down publicly between authors, editors and reviewers for a couple weeks now.

I'm not calling anyone out in particular, just reminding everyone of one of the most important parts of being an author: public behavior.

Sometimes reviews suck, but you have to remember that 90% (made that statistic up) of a review is a PERSONAL OPINION.
One person can love your characters and hate the plot while another loves the plot but thinks your characters were incredibly Mary Sue-like.
There is no pattern to who is going to like what or when or who or how.
That's just the way it is.

Calling people names/bashing in public is a serious no-no. You're not in middle school. (no offense to middle schoolers). If you're going to be a professional, you have to act like one.

Who gets hurt when bashing happens?
1. the author
2. the agent
3. the publishing company
4. usually the author's book
5. the victim
6. innocent bystanders that feel the need to jump into everything and make it about them 

Some people are going to hate your book. That's a fact.
Say it out loud, right now, "sometimes people are going to hate my book. There is nothing I can do to change that."
Now say, "my fans make it worth writing anyways."

Not everyone likes Harry Potter. Not everyone loves The Lord of the Rings. Not everyone loves The Chronicles of Narnia. Not everyone likes the Percy Jackson series. Not everyone loves The Hunger Games trilogy. Lots of people think Twilight is a joke.

You would have to be the greatest person to EVER LIVE if everyone loved your book. I mean, seriously. Oprah would be at your house to kiss your feet and marvel at the 8th wonder of the world.

Brush it off. The reviewer that dislikes your book more than likely does NOT have a personal vendetta against you. It's just not their cup of tea.

Personally, I have a strong dislike for Twilight. Does that mean that I would hate Stephenie Meyer if I ever met her? No, that's ridiculous.
WHY? Because the author is not their book.

Again, say it out loud, "I am not my book."

Okay, I think I have officially beat this into the ground. If you don't get my point by now, I'm sorry for you.
Please, please, please remember that while behavior mostly affects you and your success, there are other people involved that go down with you. Like an agent or publishing company. They take a huge risk in taking you on, don't let them down.
Oh, and your fans. Don't let your fans down. They're the ones that will defend you. Don't worry about doing it yourself.

okay, now I really am done.

Writing Contests & a Phonetics Lesson

So, hello.
I just want to take this opportunity to point a few things out.
First,


In case you have no idea what this is, it is a close-up of the buttons on my local drive-through ATM.

Let's play a game shall we?
How about, "What's wrong with this picture?"

If you guessed "Braille letters" you were absolutely correct!

I cannot, for the life of me, fathom why braille would be needed on a drive-up anything. Blind people can't drive. Therefore blind people do not need to be able to read the drive up screen.

Now, don't get me wrong. I have nothing against blind people. I know some pretty awesome people that are blind.
I'm pretty sure they won't be offended if we don't put braille on drive-up things. Seriously.


Moving on.

A common problem I seem to encounter is the pronunciation of my name.
My name is Deena. How excruciatingly difficult is that to pronounce?
Apparently extremely.

My name is Deena. Sound it out. Dee-na.
Dee.
Na.

Put them together, Deena.
Simple, right?
Hardly.

People call me DeAnna. All. The. Time.
This is a serious question here, WHERE, IN THE NAME OF ALL THINGS GOOD, DO YOU GET THE EXTRA A?

Did everyone skip kindergarten the day we learned about phonetics?


Here's a refresher course for you:
Double E's make an EEEEEEEE sound, not an A sound.


OK, now for something serious and writing-related!
yay.

http://www.amazon.com/Breakthrough-Novel-Award-Books/b?ie=UTF8&node=332264011

All you writers that have decently edited and re-written novels should take a look at this. I don't say decent to offend anyone, but I mean, let's face the facts here, you can't submit a draft. Don't submit a book that you aren't ready to query.
If anyone is entering then good luck! Let me know if you're entering. I'll cheer for you.

Book Review: The Hunger Games trilogy by Suzanne Collins

I know, I know. I already reviewed the Hunger Games.
But then I read Catching Fire and Mockingjay despite my non-love for THG and was so captivated that I did not move until both books had been completed at seven in the morning when my eyes wouldn't stay open anymore and my bladder was about to implode.

TMI, sorry. BUT YOU HAVE TO KNOW HOW GOOD THEY WERE.

Against all odds,

Katniss Everdeen has won the annual Hunger Games with fellow district tribute Peeta Mellark. But it was a victory won by defiance of the Capitol and their harsh rules. Katniss and Peeta should be happy. After all, they have just won for themselves and their families a life of safety and plenty. But there are rumors of rebellion among the subjects, and Katniss and Peeta, to their horror, are the faces of that rebellion. The Capitol is angry. 

The Capitol wants revenge.


Okay, so first things first, I have to admit that I read this with reluctance. I wasn't all that in love with the Hunger Games. I'm pretty sure I actually rated it 3 out of 5. But then I started this book. It began great and just kept going until I could hardly stand it. It was gripping and amazing and you couldn't stop reading if your life (or bladder) depended on it. The details and descriptions, the characters and suspense. It was all just too much. 

If you stopped reading after THG book 1 because you weren't all that impressed, pick up the next one. I'm not kidding. It's worth it. 

Katniss Everdeen has survived the Hunger Games, twice. 

But now that she's made it out of the bloody arena alive, she's still not safe. The Capitol is angry. The Capitol wants revenge. Who do they think should pay for the unrest? Katniss. And what's worse, President Snow has made it clear that no one else is safe either. Not Katniss's family, not her friends, not the people of District 12. Powerful and haunting, this thrilling final installment of Suzanne Collins's groundbreaking The Hunger Games trilogy promises to be one of the most talked about books of the year. 

This book was a little different for me. The cliff hanger ending of Catching Fire made me pick this one up with no time to spare. It was way darker, more dramatic. While the writing was just as beautiful as it was in Catching Fire, I found myself empty at the end of this book. I felt lost and vulnerable.
I'm the kind of person that gets into the book so much that I forget there is a world outside of it. I forget that the book isn't my life. 

So, naturally, when all hope seemed lost as I closed the cover, I felt it personally. 

Of course all hope hasn't been lost. Clearly. 

A whole new world, a better world, has been made possible for the future. But I didn't care about the future occupants, I had fallen in love with the present ones.

Now, don't get me wrong, it was very realistic, war kills people, war changes people.

But that's why we read fiction books, right? To have a better ending? 

A happier outcome?

The brokenness at the end left me horrified. So horrified, that I threw the book. 

Actually, I had thrown it multiple times while reading. 

But anyways, there was too much death and too much hopelessness for my taste. Despite the fact that they had won. 

Of course no cost is too much if it means an end to evil. But still. LET ME WALLOW IN SELF-PITY HERE.

I hated the way too many people I loved died. I hated the way that Gale ended up in a fate worse than death. Had he died, I could live with that. Sad, yes. I would have been mad, yes. I probably would have even thrown the book again, yes. But to end like that? 

Unbearable. 

Now, *SPOILERALERT* Peeta. I'm glad he eventually became mostly normal again. Because if Collins had taken him away too I'm pretty sure I would have curled up in a hole somewhere and died. #exaggeration 

Even when the people you had been rooting for since the beginning got together, it wasn't a victory. It was just slightly less tragic than it would have been otherwise.
The tragedy was brilliant. Truly. But I felt that some of the deaths didn't add to the plot at all. Had more lived, the whole thing would have been more bearable. 

Now that I'm done ranting about the ridiculous ending. It was still a good book. Despite it ripping your heart out without hope of ever getting it back, I would actually highly recommend this trilogy. 

I also recommend you do not stop after the first one, because the second two are beyond amazing. 

Catching Fire: 5/5. I couldn't put it down, it was breathtaking, amazing, beautiful, and captivating. 

Mockingjay: 4/5. The ending was too horrific, while quite realistic, for my taste. Fictional books are supposed to end well against all odds. That's why they're fiction and not crush-your-heart reality. Had the ending offered a little more hope, (and I do mean just a little), this would have easily been five stars. 

Book Review: Dreamland by Sarah Dessen

Living a Nightmare...

Used to living in the shadow of her overachieving older sister, Caitlin has always been something of a loner. When the older sister runs away to be with a boyfriend, Caitlin is left behind to deal with her mother's anguish and her father's seeming indifference. While searching for her own identity and some sense of self-worth, Caitlin hooks up with Rogerson Biscoe. Rogerson is a mixed package: He comes from a wealthy, upper-class family, but he also comes with a reputation for being a troublemaker and a rebel. His rebellious lifestyle strikes Caitlin as refreshingly different. Rogerson is different in other ways, too, with his intense demeanor and dreadlock hair.

Though Rogerson doesn't fit in with any of Caitlin's friends, Caitlin is happy to tag along and meet his friends. While she may not always like them, she likes what Rogerson brings out in her, a side of herself that she's never explored. When she learns a terrible secret about Rogerson's life, it brings them closer, and Caitlin finds Rogerson to be an intelligent, sensitive, and caring boyfriend. But that same secret comes back to haunt Caitlin when she sees a side of Rogerson he's never revealed before. Deeply in love and caught in a cycle of abuse she doesn't know how to escape, Caitlin is desperate for someone to notice and help her. Because she can't seem to help herself.

What can I say about this book?

It was the most boring book I never read. I actually did try to read it. I tried multiple times. I couldn't get into it, I didn't get it, I didn't follow, I didn't feel any emotion. There was so much telling and I was bored out of my brains. 

However, all my friends on goodreads have given this book high reviews, so it's probably just me and you should read this book anyways, just because it's a Dessen book. She's usually got pretty great books. So, yeah. 

If you like her, check the book out despite this review. 

My parents taught me that if I didn't have anything nice to say, I should say nothing at all, so I guess I'm done here. 1/5 for me this time.

Let me know what you thought of the book. I'd be interested to hear what you all think.