Book Review: The Sea of Monsters by Rick Riordan

After a summer spent trying to prevent a catastrophic war among the Greek gods, Percy Jackson is finding his seventh-grade school year unnervingly quiet. His biggest problem is dealing with his new friend, Tyson, a six-foot-three, mentally challenged homeless kid who follows Percy everywhere, making it hard for Percy to have any normal friends. But things don't stay quiet for long. 

Percy soon discovers there is trouble at Camp Half-Blood: the magical borders that protect Half-Blood Hill have been poisoned by a mysterious enemy, and the only safe haven for demigods is on the verge of being overrun by mythological monsters. To save the camp, Percy needs the help of his best friend, Grover, who has been taken prisoner on an island somewhere in the Sea of Monsters, the dangerous waters Greek heroes have sailed for millennia. Only today, the Sea of Monsters goes by a new name: The Bermuda Triangle. 

Together with his friends, Percy must retrieve the Golden Fleece from the Island of the Cyclopes or Camp Half-Blood will be destroyed. But first, Percy will learn a stunning new secret about his family, one that makes him question whether being claimed as Poseidon's son is an honor or simply a cruel joke.

Sea of Monsters. What can I say? This book reminded me so very much of The Iliad and the Odyssey that it's not even funny.
But actually it was funny. It was hilarious. I mean, I enjoyed the Iliad and the Odyssey, but I didn't laugh. Someone needs to tell Homer that this new version of his story is better cause it's funny.

Anyone who's read Percy Jackson and the Lighting Thief should just go ahead and continue the series. It's great -- Just keeps getting better with each book. 

So I can't really tell you much about this book without going all "spoiler alert" on you. But I recommend it highly. I've also heard there's a movie coming out? 

Which I don't really see how that's possible since they screwed up the first movie plot so much they can't really introduce the second without completely re-writing it. 

Enough rant. I gave this book 4/5 on goodreads.com.

read it! now.
thanks.


Next up:
The Titan's Curse
by Rick Riordan 

Proofreading & Spelling Tips

We all know proofreading is mandatory, but sometimes it's hard when you're reading and you get caught up in the story and totally forget to check spelling or other errors.
Well, here are a few tips to help you solve that problem.

1. Read backwards. When you do this, you won't be worried about the meaning behind the sentences or getting caught up in the story, you'll just read for errors.

2. Zoom in. If you're on your computer, zoom in to 125 - 150 percent so that you're forced to read a little bit at a time rather than skimming through.

3. Read forwards. Once you've read through backwards and fixed all the spelling errors, go ahead and read forwards using the zoom in tip. This way you catch missed words, double typed words, or sound alikes.

Now on to spelling. I hate spelling. Can't do it to save my life.
I always lost the spelling bee in the first round.
"Spell house"
"H-O-U-S. HOUSE!"
"you are a disgrace to all 10th graders, go sit down."

Okay, so I'm exaggerating. (when don't I?) The point still remains, I'm a terrible speller. One of the biggest issues I struggle with is the i before e rule.
"I before E except after C or when sounding like "ay" as in neighbor or weigh."

We were all taught this is school, yes?
I always remembered "I before E except before C" and that's when my ears stopped hearing what the teacher was saying. So really, I've always spelled everything ie unless it was followed by a c....which was pretty much NEVER.

IE words:
believe, field, relief, chief, niece, yield

EI words: (note, the c comes BEFORE the ei, not after as my brain has convinced me from a very early age.)
ceiling, deceive, receive

ok, ok, you get it.

And yet, there are EXCEPTIONS. Who's cruel idea was this rule?
Now not only do you have to be able to figure out which letter goes where (I let spell check do that for me) but now you also have to learn the exceptions too.

ex:
weird, either, leisure, height, sheik, seize. etc.

well, now my brain feels as though it's been attempting math, (never a good outcome) so I'll leave you with these rules and get on with my day.
Ciao,

A Thought for Children

I hear kids all the time complaining about following the rules and wanting to live on their own.
I don't blame them cause, I did too.

Here is my sage advice:

Stay at home as long as you can, kids. RELISH YOUR YOUNG LIFE.
This is what the world looks like:

It's a giant party-crashing, man-eating monster.
Except not quite so fluffy or pink.

World: "You cannot afford to live. Go die in a hole."
Me: "Well.......... that isn't quite how I planned on spending my evening, but."

I didn't spend my evening dying in a hole, as I'm sure you will all be quite glad to know. Instead, I was calming myself down by writing. Writing is always good.

Until a spider the size of a humpback whale crawls across your computer.

I mean, I'm not afraid of spiders or anything as long as they're tiny enough to fit under my shoe.

But this monstrosity was ridiculous. I tried to kill it with my notebook, but I don't know what happened to it.
It's like it disappeared.
Now, every time I shift in my seat and my blanket brushes my foot, I scream bloody murder.
I feel like the spider is still here, hiding in a dark corner, plotting it's revenge with the fluffy life-monster. 

Meh. That is all for now. 

Enjoy your evening, stay safe, and say no to drugs and leaving home.

Common Problems with Writers

Okay. So I've been holed up in my house since Sunday night with no outside contact trying to get a few things accomplished.

ONE: read the gagillion chapters of boring-as-heck homework and write papers and take quizzes.
TWO: finish editing my book.

Neither of these things help my social skills in the slightest.

So tonight, when someone spoke directly to me, I nearly had a panic attack. My brain enacted this ridiculously long scenario in a process similar to that of an ancient computer.

The question was probably the easiest thing on planet earth to figure out, but without human contact for three days, it gets a bit difficult.

person: "How is work?"
my brain: "real human speaking! respond! does not compute! fatal error!"
what came out: "................................................................................great!"
person: "Do you work?"
me: "no."

brain: "I am useless for anything but premeditated responses. I am shamed."

The good part about this is that other people got a laugh out of it, so I feel loads better. Initially, I just wanted to go bury my head in the sand. Apparently this has happened to Friend before too though. You remember Friend, right? Friend too is a writer with little outside world contact.

So now I feel better.

Enjoy my utter failings, my followers. I hope you got as good of a laugh as Friend and I did.

Book Review: Jeremy Fink and the Meaning of Life by Wendy Mass

I'm ashamed to admit this, but I've actually owned this book since 7th grade and just now got around to reading it. I won't tell you how many years it's been since then because I don't want you to think I'm old, but let's just say that was a long time ago.

So in this book, (which was a middle grade book, not a YA) Jeremy Fink gets a box. It's from his father, who died about 5 years before the box was sent.
Inside the box is another box. This box is unique and can only be opened by four different keys. Unfortunately, the keys were lost.

Jeremy and his friend, Lizzy, go on some crazy adventure around New York City (because normal parents let their kids roam the streets of NYC all the time) and eventually get to meet some really cool people. 

They help an elderly gentleman return old items from his grandfather's pawn shop to the children who pawned them off 30-50 years ago. Being a total history geek, I found myself loving the fact that they learned the story behind the antiques they were asked to return.

Over the course of time, they learn a bunch of people's take on the meaning of life. 

Through rather strange and highly improbable events, Jeremy and Lizzy finally find the keys and open the box. They learn the meaning of life according to Jeremy's dad.

All in all this was a good story. There were a few times I rolled my eyes going "no kid says that." But for the most part, I loved it. There were even a few times I nearly cried. But let's keep that a secret, shall we?

I also learned that this book is being made into a movie. I hope this is true because if it is, I'm definitely going to watch it.

For a middle grade, it was great. I give it 3/5.

Next up:
The Sea of Monsters
by Rick Riordan

Why Writers Avoid Normal People

We writers like to refer to non-writers as "normal people."
Of course, the reason we do is not as simple as you'd like to think.

Example:

Normal person's browser history:
Facebook
youtube
google mail

Writer's browser history:
details on how you skin someone alive
can you blow up a car by pouring lighter fluid in the tailpipe
how to remove a silver bullet at home using everyday items
if you wanted to kill someone quickly with a machete, where would you hit them

needless to say, if you're one of those Normal People reading this, you're probably frantically trying to close this window and block me from facebook, or currently on the phone with the police.




In fact, I was just having a conversation with Friend about this subject.

Friend: Ok, so I need to know how to kill this girl. It's got to be slow and painful.
Me: You see? This is why we don't talk to Normal People.

Case in point: Normal People just don't understand us.

When a Normal Person hears a conversation between me and Friend, they call the cops. 

When a writer hears a conversation between me and Friend, it's more like "so what's your novel about?"
We writers don't assume everyone that knows how to conduct a heist in detail is a bank robber.
Normal People, well, they do.

And it's a good thing! The world needs Normal People who catch bad guys and stuff.
Normal People protect the planet, writers entertain normal people with novels.
It's a win-win situation.
Until you mix the two...

Here's another example in case my previous one didn't convince you:

Normal Person: "That awkward moment when you overdressed for a party."
Friend, the Writer: "That awkward moment where you realize your intended drug-overdose victim is actually dying of some sort of demonic possession."

Now, don't get me wrong, there are tons of normal writers. 

OK, so maybe not. 

Even if you write a book about girls and makeup and high school you're still going to have strange things in your browser history. 

A guide on how to spot the difference: 

Normal People look like this:




Writers look like this:




Face it: we scare Normal People.

and that, my friend, is why we avoid them.

This post has been brought to you by the letter "N"
And by Friend, who is most definitely not normal.

New Blog Layout!

Hey, hey, hey!
Guess what?

Just kidding, you already know what.
I made a new blog layout!

That's right. Made it.
And it took FOREVER.
Totally frustrating. I was like this with my computer:

But now I'm looking at the end results and I'm like

What do you think about it?

Do you gusta too?

The only problem is that I can't seem to get the border around my signature to GO. AWAY.

So if anyone can tell me how to get rid of that little booger then virtual hugs and cookies to you, my friend!

Book Review: Along for the Ride by Sarah Dessen

So the main character, Auden, is an anti-social insomniac. Can someone say, "this book was written about Deena?"

Long story short, she goes to the beach for a summer of fun and ends up friends with a fellow insomniac named Eli.

He's hot, haunted, and needs a haircut. She starts hanging out with him, but not before she finds out he's the brother of the guy she hooked up with on her first night in town. -whoops. Somebody made a boo boo.

But anyways, Auden finally finds out why he's so distant. 

SPOILER ALERT, they spend all their nights together and eventually fall for each other. Go figure. 

As much as I loved the story, Sarah's writing style drives me nuts. She went into overdrive on details that weren't important to the story and didn't go into enough details on things that I felt made a significant impact on the plot. 

Also, what's with the random flashbacks in the middle of a paragraph? Drove me up the wall.

I found myself hating Auden's parents. Not sure if I was supposed to or not, but I did nonetheless. Loved Eli, which I'm 99.99% sure I was supposed to. I also found myself relating to Auden. 

Pet peeves in writing aside, the story was gripping. I read the whole book in less than 24 hours. That doesn't happen unless it's Harry Potter or the power is out.

I give this book 4/5. Would have been better had it not been for excessive details that left me saying "I don't care" or not enough details that left me going "what in the HECK just happened?"

Recommended, for sure. 

Next up:
Jeremy Fink and the Meaning of Life
by Wendy Mass 

Using a Book to Write a Book

OK, you're all going to hate me for this, but YES, I'm using yet another Harry Potter reference. 

This might possibly be the last one for a while. 

Most definitely not the last one ever, though.

I couldn't NOT blog about Harry Potter like I couldn't NOT breathe. 

The end result would be something like this:

So anyways. The books I'm going to be using as examples is the Harry Potter series. 

No groans from the peanut gallery. 

The reason I'm using these is simple: they're the third best seller OF ALL TIME. 

Obviously she was onto something. 

Now when I say "use a book to write a book" I don't mean have it open on your desk ready to use its ideas. 

What I mean by that is that you should study the book. Watch its patterns, characters, etc.

I've already blogged about patterns in the HP series, now we're going to watch the author's behavior while writing the books. 

Don't give me that look, I didn't mean hide in her closet while she works. Sheesh. 

She's blogged while writing, done interviews on the way she writes, etc. 

Her advice goes something like this:

1. LOVE what you write, it WILL become you. 

In other words, you are part of your book. J.K. Rowling didn't put herself into the Wizarding World of Harry Potter, but we still associate it with her as though she had. 

2. If you need a break, take one. 

While you are taking a much needed break from your story, play a game on your computer. Minesweeper (like Jo) or solitaire (like me) or any other calming game pre-loaded on your computer. And I do mean calming. Don't play a game that boils your blood. You probably won't recover much writing that way.

3. Write while you're waiting to write.

I mean write other things. Build up the world, write character backgrounds, do something. 

While writing your book's equivalent of the Hogwarts Sorting Hat scene, you get stumped. Don't stare at the computer screen. Start writing the background of the hat, or of the kid under the hat. This stuff may not ever make it into the book... but you'll have a really thorough knowledge of your world. And if your fan group is as ravenous as hers, you'll have more to give them after the book is over. 

That's all I have to give you on this topic. 

Here's a summary for those of you who like to skim:

-Study patterns in books.

-Figure out what successful authors do while writing their books.

-Never stop looking for tips from well-to-do authors. 

-Always brush your teeth.

OK, that last one wasn't in there. I just threw that out so you would go back and re-read it trying to find that particular sentence. 

Until next time,

Probably the Most Pointless Post Ever

Stayed up all night last night and finally got this:

And I was like "FRICK YEAH, I AM."

Then I went through a multitude of emotions that are being reenacted for you below.

Then I get my e-mail confirmation and I click it and this comes up:

And I'm like "WAIT A FEW WEEKS?!"

 ARE YOU NUTS??"

So until I get that email:

It's raining in my heart.

IN MY HEART, POTTERMORE. Are you happy now?