got these analogies from: House of Figs.
1. Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.
her eyes were like eyes, guys.
2. He was as tall as a 6′3″ tree.
but not nearly as tall as a 6'3" mountain.
3. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
wow, you mean those things actually work?
4. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.
that's almost as eerie as Wheel of Fortune coming on at 5:30 instead of 6:00.
5. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
I think I sense some foreshadowing here...
6. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
she sounds lovely.
7. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
The dog wizzed on the fire hydrant after rising, en pointe, and extending his slender hind leg.
8. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.
blasted land mines. making the ducks of America lame.
9. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife’s infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM.
infidelity: now an ATM machine.
10. The lamp just sat there, like an inanimate object.
wait....... my lamp isn't really an inanimate object?!
12. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.
unfortunately, he wasn't in a hefty bag. so cleanup is going to be much worse.
13. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
OMG, that guy came to my high school yesterday!
14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
ok, so wait. is this a love story or a math problem?
15. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.
unless you have a suppressor...
16. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.
...remind me to avoid dinner at their house.
17. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan’s teeth.
1. Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.
her eyes were like eyes, guys.
2. He was as tall as a 6′3″ tree.
but not nearly as tall as a 6'3" mountain.
3. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
wow, you mean those things actually work?
4. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.
that's almost as eerie as Wheel of Fortune coming on at 5:30 instead of 6:00.
5. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
I think I sense some foreshadowing here...
6. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
she sounds lovely.
7. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
The dog wizzed on the fire hydrant after rising, en pointe, and extending his slender hind leg.
8. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.
blasted land mines. making the ducks of America lame.
9. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife’s infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM.
infidelity: now an ATM machine.
10. The lamp just sat there, like an inanimate object.
wait....... my lamp isn't really an inanimate object?!
12. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.
unfortunately, he wasn't in a hefty bag. so cleanup is going to be much worse.
13. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
OMG, that guy came to my high school yesterday!
14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
ok, so wait. is this a love story or a math problem?
15. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.
unless you have a suppressor...
16. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.
...remind me to avoid dinner at their house.
17. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan’s teeth.
18. It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall.
I'm not going to ask how you manage to accidentally do that, but I would assume that they are referring to childbirth? or perhaps a broken femur?
19. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.
Here in America we sure do like adrenaline rushes.
20. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.
They say love is blind. I'm going to assume that on occasion it's deaf too.
21. The red brick wall was the color of a brick-red Crayola crayon.
Crayola crayons: gettin' it right since 1903.
22. He was as bald as one of the Three Stooges, either Curly or Larry, you know, the one who goes
woo woo woo.
So in other words...... he wasn't bald?
23. The baseball player stepped out of the box and spit like a fountain statue of a Greek god that scratches itself a lot and spits brown, rusty tobacco water and refuses to sign autographs for all the little Greek kids unless they pay him lots of drachmas.
Somebody sounds a little bit bitter.
24. It came down the stairs looking very much like something no one had ever seen before.
which would explain why the description is quite lacking.
25. The sunset displayed rich, spectacular hues like a .jpeg file at 10 percent cyan, 10 percent magenta, 60 percent yellow and 10 percent black.
I just...... this..... this guy is really smart. and I have nothing to say about him.
Here in America we sure do like adrenaline rushes.
20. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.
They say love is blind. I'm going to assume that on occasion it's deaf too.
21. The red brick wall was the color of a brick-red Crayola crayon.
Crayola crayons: gettin' it right since 1903.
22. He was as bald as one of the Three Stooges, either Curly or Larry, you know, the one who goes
woo woo woo.
So in other words...... he wasn't bald?
23. The baseball player stepped out of the box and spit like a fountain statue of a Greek god that scratches itself a lot and spits brown, rusty tobacco water and refuses to sign autographs for all the little Greek kids unless they pay him lots of drachmas.
Somebody sounds a little bit bitter.
24. It came down the stairs looking very much like something no one had ever seen before.
which would explain why the description is quite lacking.
25. The sunset displayed rich, spectacular hues like a .jpeg file at 10 percent cyan, 10 percent magenta, 60 percent yellow and 10 percent black.
I just...... this..... this guy is really smart. and I have nothing to say about him.
LOL! I had seen some of these before, but not all of them! I like the last one. And the hummingbird one.
ReplyDeleteI was so delighted with these analogies that I read them out to my family, so they could be delighted with these analogies like people,that having discovered analogies, are delighted.
ReplyDelete